Spring, kept quiet
- Wren returns to the same hedge before the hawthorn opens.
- First toadstools on the old oak — I number them.
- The brook runs milky; the kingfisher is already fishing.
field notebook · no. 3 · fernbrook valley
A year of forests, fungi, streams, birds & other small wonders.
March 2024 — February 2025 · kept weekly · ink, water & patience
four seasons, one valley — pressed flat between the pages
walked weekly; corrected with a shrug when the bracken disagrees
small citizens of the valley, drawn while they were kind enough to sit still
A yellow trumpet, one solid piece — no gills, only ridges. Smells of apricot. I ate two that night and regret nothing.
One feather, whole and unbroken. I did not touch it. It belongs to the sky, and to a patient thing I only ever hear.
Seven dots. I counted them. Twice. I trust it. It crossed my pencil and left the ink unharmed, which felt fair.
Deep-lobed, and firm. A beetle has eaten a question mark out of it. I have left the question there.
Curls back into a tight spiral like a fern doing arithmetic. The frond unrolls all June — I marked the days. Forty-one.
Horns like thin crescents; moved exactly one centimetre in the whole afternoon. I gave it the honour of this page and the debt of a name.
Draws its own map of the rock — brown continents, pale inlets. Older than the stone's name. Grows one millimetre a year, I've been told. I believe it.
The Kingfisher at Fernbrook — 14 April, 06:14
I went before the light, the way you go into a house when someone is asleep — slowly, on the far side of the doorframe. The valley was still one colour, blue-grey, and the brook was doing the only sound I know that is also a kind of silence. I had brought the notebook open and empty, which was mostly a promise and partly a dare.
Then a flash of blue, low on the far bank, no larger than a held thumb. It was gone before I could call it by anything; the stream answered with a single syllable — kree — and twice more, never three. The bird was a small blue promise the river keeps, and for the moment the whole morning was waiting on whether it would cash it.
It dived. Not a dive, really, a stitch — in and out of the water, and the water closed with a ring I could have measured. I counted to twelve because there is no other thing to do with twelve. Then it re-perched on the same branch, in the same tilt, and shook once with its whole body, as if to make sure it still belonged to itself.
I wrote down the time, the temperature of the air, the fact that the willow overhanging the pool was in leaf exactly halfway, and I did not write down the nest, because the nest is not a fact I will help along. Some pages of the year I leave deliberately thin. This is one of them. I will be back before the light. The notebook will be open.
— W., pencil, at the ford
taken at the same fence post, at the same time, whether I liked it or not
| Date | °C | Sky | Wind | Note |
|---|---|---|---|---|
| 3 Mar | 4 / 11 | NE 12 | first wren at the hedge | |
| 17 Mar | 6 / 13 | W 18 | toadstools on the old oak | |
| 2 Apr | 9 / 16 | SW 15 | Fernbrook running milky | |
| 14 Apr | 11 / 18 | N 8 | the kingfisher (see p. 12) | |
| 9 May | 13 / 22 | E 9 | ink smudged — lesson learned | |
| 21 Jun | 16 / 26 | calm | heat shimmer over the bracken | |
| 15 Aug | 15 / 24 | SW 22 | storm stripped one ash | |
| 6 Oct | 9 / 15 | W 14 | leaves — the whole river is gold | |
| 19 Dec | −3 / 3 | NE 7 | footprints only; held breath |
no recorder, only ears — transcribed the next morning while it was still true
what fits in the coat pocket and survives the drizzle
I keep this notebook the way I keep most promises — a little carelessly, and entirely. I am not a scientist, though I have been called that, which is a kind of compliment that arrives with rain. I am a person who stands at the same fence post more often than most, and who has learned that the same tree gives different lessons in April than it does in January.
Everything here was drawn with a soft pencil and a bottle of ink that is slowly losing a war against the drizzle. Some of it is accurate. Some of it is what the thing looked like when I believed in it, which I have decided is also a kind of accuracy. When in doubt, I leave the margin open — the moss grows in anyway.
Wren Calloway
currently: waiting for the chanterelles